Feel like you're not working towards your dreams? Read this.

In this article I share my personal story and how that "irrelevant" job could determine your future success as a well-versed artist.

As a creative, it can feel like the perfect balance between a blessing and a curse finding your passion. You love what you do, but you may not be afforded the opportunity to do it as much as you would like to. Many people, myself included, had to start out working side jobs in a non-related field or taking any job in that specific field that paid either in gas money or a Starbucks gift card. 

A little backstory about myself: as a kid, I was trained in ballet, jazz, hip hop-well practically any style of dance you can think of! I did the competitive circuit, training eight hours a day for four years then eventually moved on to auditioning for work in Los Angeles starting at age fifteen. I was so committed to becoming a professional dancer, with my end goal being a choreographer, that I graduated high school at fifteen years old to spend every waking moment of the day breathing, eating, sleeping dance!

Unfortunately, for every one job out there, there were about a thousand dancers that auditioned for it. I began booking gigs here and there, but nothing consistent. There were some slow months, very very slow months. While doing the auditioning plus networking in dance class combo, I simultaneously started helping my dad work private parties in Bel Air, California. He valeted the cars, while I restlessly watched over the keys. I remember driving home after work, crying to him about how I just wanted to dance (I know, pretty corny huh?) Point is, I felt so strongly about it that it agonized me to the point of tears. 

He said to me, “Even when you’re not working towards your goals, you’re still working towards your goals.”

I rolled my eyes at him, but looking back as an adult, that phrase has so much newfound depth and meaning to it that I may not have realized at the time. For those that feel lost in their career or nonexistent one, I am here to dive deeper into how that saying is one of the most beneficial things you can tell yourself during slow times. I am proof!

Let’s get into it!

Three years passed of me valeting in Bel Air at these grand parties that went ‘til midnight on weekdays. While I was doing that, I grew intrigued by that whole world of private estates and even more private people. I took notes while waiting out front for the parties to let out, not thinking anything of it. I just wanted to distract my mind away from the fact that I wasn’t at dance class.

One day my older sister, who was a country singer at the time, came to me about doing a music video for her newest single. She wanted a specific company to film it, but they were charging her an arm and a leg. Me, being an ignorant eighteen year old, said “I can do it!” I felt I had enough set experience, produced some dance concept videos, and was comfortable being in front of the camera. How hard could it be on the opposite side?!

Her, being a broke twenty year old, agreed to my naive proposal and we started planning. From writing the script to doing the storyboard, I fell in love with the process of video production. I knew zilch about cameras at the time, but luckily I had my friend Alex to guide me. It was thrilling to be in charge of my own story rather than retelling someone else’s. I casted the actors, which gave me a whole new perspective on auditioning, choreographed the movement of the leads, and lastly got to direct thirty people. The location was booked and all was ready to go.

Then the night before the big shoot…I got a call.

It was my big break (so I thought.)

On the other end of the phone was a wonderful choreographer I knew. She said, “Haley! Haley! I have a great job for you. We need you to play young Goldie Hawn in Green Day’s newest music video.”

I cheered with excitement, until she said, “Filming starts tomorrow at Universal Studios.” 

All I wanted my whole life up to that point was to be a successful professional dancer. My opportunity had come, but it was packaged in the box of terrible timing. I told the choreographer I had to call her back in ten. 

After torturing myself and everyone around me, weighing the pros and cons of turning down that major job, I finally made my decision. I had thirty people relying on me and already committed to doing my sister’s music video. I chose what I knew in my heart was the right thing to do, although it was extremely painful at the time. The next day, my sister’s music video went great and when the final product was out, I was so happy that I stuck to the original plan. Dancing looked like the ugly stepsister compared to video production to me from that point on. Years passed once again, as they typically do, and I opened up my own production company called Refuse Reality Productions. 

We went on to create videos for the Grammy’s, numerous artists, and won over fifteen awards in directing and cinematography. It wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows though, there still were tough times and slow seasons. When building the studio, there were days I had to just sit and wait for concrete to dry and then once the studio was complete, there were days I didn’t book any shoots. 

I agonized once again over “not working towards my goals.”  

I grew restless as the studio remained silent and the expenses of California racked up. I felt like a fifteen year old girl once again, standing in front of an estate in Bel Air, fidgeting with my hands and checking the clock. I wanted nothing more than to escape…so I sat down and began to write.

 It started out as a personal monologue regarding age and all the pressure that came along with it, then it slowly turned into a scene. The visuals came immediately into my head as I recited my deepest thoughts. My brain had become so trained to view stories as screenplays that I decided to make it into a full movie script.

What was the script about? 

Dance? No.

Music Videos? No.

Green Day? Nope, once again.

It was about my time working in Bel Air and all that I witnessed there. When sitting down at the studio, bored as I’ll get out, I resorted back to my unexplained notes I wrote when I was valeting as a teenager. All that while I stressed out about not being where I wanted to be, I look back now and thank my lucky stars that I was there, at that “irrelevant” job.

Eventually I transcribed the script into a novel and based all the characters on people I’ve met throughout my life. From random jobs with strangers to honest advice from family, all of those lessons built my story to be all encompassing of the meaningful experiences I had in Bel Air as an outsider.   

Long story short, that is my tale. If you feel unsatisfied with the current place you are in, odds are it will be the determining factor on your future success and happiness, whatever that may be for you. You are currently building up the skills you need to make yourself equipt for what you are meant to do in the future.

So remember, “Even when you’re not working towards your goals, you’re still working towards your goals.”

P.s. I ended up booking a gig as a backup dancer for Green Day after my first shoot. What’s meant to be…will be :) 

My debut novel will be released in 2025, stay tuned.